


A Soul for a Soul

by ShadowsintheClouds



Series: Short Marvel Fics and gifts [43]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bucky Barnes Recovering, DO NOT COPY!, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Minor Character Death, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Feels, The Winter Solider is a separate personality, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsintheClouds/pseuds/ShadowsintheClouds
Summary: Everybody is born with the name of their soulmate written in deep blue on their wrist. Everybody had a name, even if the person was dead and the name was stained black. Everyone had one. Even tiny newborn Anthony Stark. But his name wasn’t normal. Written on Tony’s wrist in deep blue sat only one word.Winter.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Winter Solder/Tony Stark
Series: Short Marvel Fics and gifts [43]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1173833
Comments: 25
Kudos: 285





	A Soul for a Soul

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was reading some soulmate AU fics the other day and this little plot bunny just wouldn’t leave me alone. So, I just had to write it. I hope you enjoy it! -Shadows

Everybody is born with the name of their soulmate written in deep blue on their wrist. Everybody had a name, even if the person was dead and the name was stained black. Everyone had one. Even tiny newborn Anthony Stark. But his name wasn’t normal. Written on Tony’s wrist in deep blue sat only one word.

Winter.

Everyone in the nursery ward of the hospital was confused that day. The doctors wanted to run tests, Maria Stark was scared, and Howard Stark wanted to get rid of what he dubbed an abomination.

Tony grew up lonely. He was a genius and went through grades fast in school. By the time Tony was seven years old he was being shipped off to boarding school after being beaten by his father for not wanting to go. Poor Tony was surrounded by kids who were way older than him. Kids with real soulmates. Not just a word on their wrists.

Tony learned the hard way that life sucked. His own father beat him and drank too much, his mother was scared of him and his word, he was bullied constantly at school. The only people who cared about Tony were Edwin and Ana Jarvis. But they died when Tony was 11. They were soulmates. A perfect match. Tony was happy that they had each other but he wished so desperately that he had one of his own.

By the time Tony went to MIT at the age of 14, he was already broken and angry at the world. Tony began to act out. He drank and slept around even though he knew that he shouldn’t. He constantly got talked into doing stupid shit by people who just wanted their 15 minutes of fame. The world forgot that Tony was still just a kid.

Thankfully, Tony had Rhodey to help him through everything. He was there when Tony’s parent’s died. He was there when Tony freed himself from getting kidnapped. He was there and Tony always missed him when he wasn’t.

So you see, with a word like Winter on his wrist and a shitty view of the world, Tony was more than certain that he didn’t have a soulmate. He was certain that he was the horrible abomination that the world said he was. Tony’s heart was ice and he knew that he’d never have a soulmate to be there to help melt it.

So when Project Insight failed and the data dump happened, Tony was surprised when Steve and his companions showed up at the tower with a miraculously alive Bucky Barnes in tow. Bucky was Steve’s soulmate that everyone thought was lost to time. He wasn’t. He was alive. He was alive and with him came an alternate personality that HYDRA had programmed into his brain.

A personality by the name of Winter. 

“Stark, can I ask for a favour?” asked Steve not even ten minutes after he and his merry band arrived at the tower and had crashed on the communal floor couch.

“What is it?” asked Tony, even though he had a feeling of where the conversation was going.

“I need you to figure out a way to get the Winter Soldier out of Bucky. He’s my soulmate and he needs help. Please. I know it’s asking a lot.”

Now, Tony knew that nobody but Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy knew who his soulmate was so Tony was positive that Steve didn’t. He was just looking out for his own soulmate while asking Tony to kill his. Tony already knew he was an abomination. A soulless monster. A freak. A mistake. He knew he’d never get a happy ending. So he said yes and retreated to his lab.

Tony hardly left his lab as all the Avengers began to move in. He didn’t have the energy to deal with any of them. He didn’t really have the energy to deal with himself either but Tony had really stopped caring. All Tony did was work. He worked and studied and learned and he did everything he could to figure out a way to help Bucky and Steve. Honestly, the fact that Tony was about to kill his own soulmate made him want to throw up. 

Tony felt numb every time Steve would come down to his lab to check on his progress. He’d answer all of his questions while his heart slowly broke. Although the day Tony’s heart shattered was one for the history books. One day while Tony was consumed by his work Steve and Bucky came down to inform Tony that Winter had come through and told Steve that he wanted this. That he wanted to go because he wasn’t supposed to be there.

All Tony could do was nod and agree to continue working and drown himself in alcohol once they left. If Winter wasn’t supposed to be there then maybe neither was Tony. 

After a month of research and hard work and multiple consultations, Tony figured out a way to remove Winter from Bucky by removing his HYDRA trigger words. He called the program Binary Augmented Retro Framing or B.A.R.F. for short. Not only would the program be able to remove the triggers and Winter, but the program could also be repurposed with a few small tweaks into a therapy program. No doubt Tony would need that once this was all over. 

To say that Steve and Bucky were ecstatic over Tony’s work was an understatement. They kept hugging Tony and thanking him for all the work he’d done. Tony hated every second of it and couldn’t find it in himself to be happy for the pair. He felt like crying and throwing up.

They quickly set a date for two days from then to use the device to remove Winter and the triggers.

Tony sat in his room for the first day and just stared at the name on his wrist. He felt sick. He was about to lose his soulmate and he’d never even gotten the chance to talk to him. Despite all of Tony’s self-deprecation, he knew he couldn’t let go before saying goodbye. He deserved that at least.

So, with a mission in mind, Tony left the safety of his room to look for Bucky.

“Hey Barnes, can I… can I ask you for a small favour?” asked Tony once he found Bucky sitting alone in the media room watching a movie.

“After all the work you’ve done for me, absolutely doll.” Smiled Bucky and Tony felt sick.

“Look Barnes, I know you hate Winter. I get it. But… But I just… I need to talk to him. Just ten minutes That’s all I’m asking for.” Asked Tony, his voice turning meek despite his best efforts.

“Why?”

“Because He’s my soulmate. He’s my soulmate and I want to say goodbye before I lose him forever.”

The two stood frozen in the room as Bucky thought about what Tony had just told him. Winter was Tony’s soulmate and he was going to kill him. Tony, who had worked so hard over the past month to help out him and Steve, just wanted some time to say goodbye to his soulmate. It broke Bucky’s heart to think about that. So, who was he to deny Tony this one small moment?

“Sure doll. I’ll give you some time. Do you… Do you need anything else?” asked Bucky as he looked back at Tony. The poor man looked like his heart was breaking. 

“Just… just don’t tell anybody. It’s not worth it.”

Bucky wanted to argue with Tony’s statement. It was worth it to tell somebody. But he didn’t argue. All he did was nod and begrudgingly allow Winter to come to the surface. He hated this, but he was doing it for Tony. 

Tony watched as Winter came to the surface. It was the little changes that separated him from Bucky. Like the way he held himself or the little smirk on his lips when he saw Tony.

“Hey, there sweet thing.” Smirked Winter and Tony wanted so badly to smile and be happy that he was finally meeting his soulmate, but the knowledge of what this meant soured the moment.

“Hi.” Sighed Tony. His hands were shaking a bit and his voice was catching in his throat.

“Don’t be scared sweet thing. You’ll be alright. It’ll all be alright.” Soothed Winter as he brought Tony into his arms. Tony had never felt so safe in somebody’s arms before.

“I don’t want to lose you. I just got you and now I have to lose you.” Spoke Tony as tears started to fall onto Winter’s shoulder.

“I want this Tony. I want this. HYDRA made me. I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I’m sorry that all of this happened. But you’ll be alright. You’ll be alright.”

“I love you. I used to dream about meeting you even though I knew I was broken. Even though we just met I love you.” Cried, Tony.

“You’re not broken. You’ll be alright. I know you will.”

Tony stood there enveloped in Winter’s arms as their last minutes together ticked by. Tony soaked in every second of it. He needed this. This was all he’d ever get and he needed this. Tony watched as Winter retreated and Bucky rose back to the surface. Tony turned and ran back to his lab. Bucky yelled after him but Tony didn’t care. He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t.

Tony didn’t know how long he sat in his lab staring at the wall. He’d lost track of time after saying goodbye to Winter.

The next day Tony forced himself to drag himself out of his lab for a shower before he was right back in there with Steve and Bucky to use the B.A.R.F. program. There were also a few doctors on standby waiting in the tower’s med bay just in case.

As Tony go set up he could see Steve smiling like an idiot with Bucky in his arms. Bucky, however, looked a mix between excited and sombre. He looked at Tony with sadness in his eyes and Tony couldn’t bear to look back at him. The only time he looked at Bucky was when he was making sure he was comfortable and that the equipment. But, just as Tony was about to step away from Bucky he noticed that there was a slight difference in him and as Tony turned around he felt Winter grab his wrist and smile up at him.

“Don’t worry. It will all be ok, sweet thing.” 

All Tony could do was nod and hold back his emotions as he went over to where Steve was so that Bucky could work through the program.

Tony lost track of time as he and Steve watched as Bucky went through the program to remove the words. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. But Tony felt it when Bucky had finished the deprogramming and Winter was gone. He felt the all-encompassing pain in his soul as his mark went from deep blue to deadly black.

Tony screamed as the pain took over.

Tony collapsed to his knees and cried and screamed ad the pain increased. His wrist burned like hellfire and he felt like he was dying. And in a way, he was. Half of his soul was gone after all.

“Tony! Tony!” shouted Steve as he ran to Tony’s side and tried to figure out what was wrong. Bucky was also rushing towards him but Tony didn’t care. He was burning and everything hurt.

“Tony! Tony, what’s wrong? What happened?” worried Steve as he tried to check Tony over. Tony didn’t even register that. He was just clasping his wrist and writhing in pain while he curled into a ball on the floor.

“I know… I know what happened.” Spoke Bucky, his voice dripping with sadness.

“What? What happened?”

“The Winter Soldier. He was Tony’s soulmate.”

Steve sat there in shock as he processed what Bucky had just told him. Winter was Tony’s soulmate. He was his soulmate and Tony had just helped them kill him. He’d helped them find peace at the expense of his own happiness.

“Fuck… Fuck… He… He…” stammered Steve as he looked at the man writhing in pain before him.

“I know. But right now we can’t dwell on that. Now Winter made me promise that we’d look after him. So, we need to get Tony somewhere safe because he’s going to be like this for a while.” Spoke Bucky with an air of urgency in his voice.

Steve just nodded and helped Bucky pull Tony into his arms. Tony had stopped screaming but he was still shaking and crying and it made everyone’s hearts break. Tony was normally so strong, but losing a soulmate? He’d never fully recover from this.

They took Tony up to their room where they hoped that the space and the company would help alleviate some of Tony’s pain. The poor man was still crying but his tears were now silent as he clung to Bucky while Steve wrapped him up in blankets. As they got settled, they called Bruce. Hopefully, he’d be able to help.

“What did he do this time?” asked Bruce as he entered their room and looked around. Although Bruce’s face fell when he saw Tony bundled in a blanket while wrapped in Bucky’s arms. And then he saw the tears and Bruce understood that something was very, very wrong.

“What happened?” worried Bruce as he scurried over to where everyone was.

“He… His soulmate just died.” Spoke Steve as Bucky worked on keeping Tony’s shivering form warm.

“Christ… Fucking Hell.” Sighed Bruce as he sat on the bed next to the other three.

“Alright… Ok… Listen. Here’s what needs to happen” started Bruce as he got Bucky and Steve’s attention. “Losing a soulmate is very serious. It fundamentally changes a person. Tony is never going to be like he was before so we need to accept that now and do our best to help him. He’s going to be sick for a while. He’s going to be grieving for even longer. He’ll likely become even more depressed…”

“Wait… More depressed?” asked Bucky as he held Tony closer.

“Tony… well he told me that he’s been battling with symptoms of depression since he was a kid.”

Steve and Bucky looked back in shock. The Tony that Steve knew was full of life and personality. Had all of that been a mask. How much of Tony’s light had been genuine? 

“Look. Tony is my friend and I’ll do anything for him. This… This is a low blow for him. Losing a soulmate sucks. People get sick and die from it. Just… just keep an eye on him. Just… just keep him safe.” Sighed Bruce.

“Don’t worry We’ll keep him here with us. We owe it to him.” Spoke Bucky and Steve nodded. Tony had sacrificed his soulmate for them. 

“Keep an eye on his vitals. Make sure he eats and drinks. Keep him warm and please, if you’re going to do this, don’t leave him alone. I don’t want to lose my friend.”

“We will Bruce. We don’t want to lose him either.”

After talking for a while, Bruce left the three alone. Steve and Bucky took that opportunity to get into their pyjamas and into the bed where they had Tony. The poor thing had finally fallen asleep although the odd tear continued to roll down his cheeks. They got under the covers and Steve pulled Tony’s head against his chest in the hopes that his heartbeat would help Tony find some peace.

“We’re gonna look after him, right?” asked Bucky after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah. Yeah, we are. Tony doesn’t deserve this. We’ll… we’ll help him. We will. We owe it to him.” Whispered Steve as he and Bucky held Tony close.

And that’s what they did. One of them was always at Tony’s side as Tony worked through all the effects of losing a soulmate. They were there through the tears and shouting matches. They were there when Tony was so sick he threw up. They kept him warm when the shivers wouldn’t stop. Most days they would just talk to Tony. They’d tell him all sorts of stories and some of them even got Tony to smile. He didn’t really do that anymore so it was nice when he did.

Tony didn’t go to the lab as much anymore after losing Winter. He just didn’t have the energy to do anything other than sit on the ground with the bots when he went down. Luckily, Pepper was understanding and gave him time off. He had a huge backlog of inventions for this kind of situation. Rhodey came by once when he managed to get some time off from the Air Force. He just hugged Tony while Steve and Bucky gave them space.

But Rhodey couldn’t stay long and Tony was left back in the care of Steve and Bucky. They were lucky there wasn’t a call out or else one of them would need to stay behind with Tony. He wasn’t allowed to use his armour at the moment. Tony didn’t blame them. He didn’t really want to use it either at the moment. He used to love flying in the armour. Not it was just dull. Everything had been dull since Winter had died.

But somewhere along the line, about six months after Winter had died and Bucky and Steve had begun helping him, Tony realized that he was starting to feel things again. Things like love and happiness. He smiled more at his bot’s antics. He would sometimes laugh when Thor or Clint made jokes. He slowly began to feel less empty as the whole that Winter used to sit in began to heal over.

And that was when Tony realized that he’d developed small crushes on the super soldiers that had helped him and held him for all these months. Steve and Bucky had been amazing since Winter had died. They genuinely care about him, and that wasn’t something that happened to Tony a whole lot. Howard had made sure of that. But here they were, caring for Tony because they wanted to. Not because they had to.

But Tony didn’t want to taint their relationship with himself. He was broken and useless and not their soulmate. He didn’t need to poison them with his worthless love.

And so Tony kept his crush to himself and went back to sulking and feeling numb. 

But what Tony didn’t know was that Bucky and Steve had fallen for him all the same.

“Hey Stevie, can we talk?” asked Bucky one afternoon. Tony was having a nap so they were free to talk for a while.

“Yeah Bucky, what do you need?”

“You know how we’re soulmates, right?” asked Bucky and Steve nodded. “Do you ever think that maybe the universe made Tony and Winter soulmates for a reason? Maybe so that he’d come to us?”

Steve just smiled back at Bucky and rested his head against his.

“You’ve fallen for him too?”

“Yeah. He’s just… He deserves so much. Tony worked so hard to make sure we were alright. He deserves love. I’ve been looking into his past a bit with JARVIS’s help. The poor guy needs some love and care. He needs people in his corner so he doesn’t have to fight alone. Howard Stark… he wasn’t a good man. Maybe, maybe if Tony were ours we could give him the love he deserves.”

“Yeah… He… Tony deserves better. I know that I’ve fucked up with him in the past. But I know better now. We’re going to make it alright, Buck. We’ll make sure he’s alright.”

And so the two got to scheming when Tony was sleeping or in his lab with Bruce. They wanted to make sure that Tony knew that they wanted him and that he wasn’t intruding. They knew that would be his first thought. Tony had been with them for months now. It was time to make things official. They loved him. Tony deserved to know that.

The day Steve and Bucky asked Tony to be theirs they set up a candlelight dinner in their room. They had Tony’s favourite foods and they had his favourite movie queued up to watch after they ate. Now all they needed was Tony, who JARVIS has said was on his way back from some lab time with Bruce.

“Oh… sorry. I’ll… I’ll go.” Stuttered Tony as he walked into the room and saw Steve and Bucky sitting together with food and candles.

“No Tony. Come on. Come here.” Smiled Steve as Bucky got up and pulled Tony into sitting between them.

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding doll. This is all for you.” Cooed Bucky and Tony looked between the two of them.

“For me?”

“For you.” Smiled Steve.

“Why?”

“Because…” started Bucky, “Because Steve and I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and we’ve decided that you’re ours now. If you’ll have us.”

Tony looked on incredulously between the two as his hands shook a bit. Steve took them in his before continuing the conversation. 

“We love you, Tony. We love you and we care for you and you deserve the world.” 

“I’m not worth it. I’m not… I’m not getting between you guys. You deserve better than me.” Worried Tony, his voice catching a bit as he tried to wiggle free of their hold.

“Tony, you’re worth everything. You’re not getting in between us. Now, I can tell that you want us. Well, we want you. We love you, Tony. If you want us, you’ll have us.” Whispered Bucky as he pulled Tony into a hug. Steve joined seconds after.

Tony just relaxed into the hug and let their words wash over him. They wanted him. They wanted him for who he was. Tony felt all kinds of tension leave his body that he didn’t know was there. Maybe he could finally have somebody love him. 

“Thank you.” Sighed Tony and Bucky leaned in to kiss his forehead.

“Oh doll, you don’t need to worry about a thing. You’re ours. We’re not letting you go.”

All Tony could do was nod and fall deep into Bucky and Steve’s arms. They wanted him. They really wanted him. Maybe he’d be ok. Maybe he wasn’t broken. Maybe he’d finally have somebody to love and love him back.

But for now, the three just held each other and swayed. Maybe now everything would be alright.


End file.
